Sometimes it happens. When I am put in my spot. I have forgotten. These words were part of my nightmares as long as I remember, and when daylight came I was telling myself everything is just a product of my imagination. But it is not.
On Saturday they became reality; the mean and spiteful words got mouth and got a voice. But not at death of a night but in pristine nature, illuminated by the sun ... and it became clear
that the only possible path is a path that leads away. It was enough. Enough of hurt and I will not allow it to go on. Yes I came from their blood and they have their own
truth , as do I. I will no longer struggle and justify my existence to them. Enough is enough. This does not mean that it will not fell remorse . But at least I won't live in a cages and bow my heads willingly, just to please. No more searching for
shelter and humility. It was enough. Now it's high time for me and my loved ones. I
will no longer adapt so that I belonged. The choice is mine, and they're
welcome in my world , but not on their terms.
Cruel words that have cut through unhealed scars to the heart, also cut the ties that held me there. It's nice to be able to breath. Interesting that I
never knew that I was breathing with only half of the capacity. That constant breathlessness... I was bending backwards to at least fit in, if I couldn't be accepted.
I got a recognition all right.
They told me what I am, according to them. Lazy, ungrateful, incompetent and parasitic. Right. I'm sorry they had to see and experience it, as
I am their offspring. Thank God they didn't only bet on one horse. Their first runner is running
the way it should. I'm happy for them. So life is not a complete
waste.
I am grateful for the realizations, no matter what brought them or how they were delivered. I am grateful to breath again.
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